Buzzing?

sometimes i struggle to stay asleep all night. It’s usually because something woke me, or someone, but often i end up awake for the rest of the night, or toss n turn till i can fall back asleep. I hate it. It drives me nuts. 

What really sux, is to be awakened suddenly, by M getting in bed, and then having a ?fight? I dont get it. What did I do? And yell at me with a vicious voice, because he doesnt get what he wants. It’s not just sex, that’s not an issue really, it’s specific parts of sex, that i have a hang up about. I’m trying, but I feel stuck where I am, and despite that M likes it so much, and it even feels wonderful, I cant get past this hurdle. 

So, I end up crying myself to sleep, feeling shunned, worthless and alone. 

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